Monday, March 14, 2011

Salary & Monthly Milestone: Read carefully!

 

SALARY DAY

MONTHLY MILESTONES OF A Bachelor GUY

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Heading


First Week


Second Week


Third Week


Fourth Week


a) Bank Balance


20000


2000


200


20


b) Conveyance


Auto ("I can afford it")


Share Auto ("I would like to share. I am selfless!")


Bus ("Public figures should travel by public transport")


Walk ("Good for health")


c) Girl Friends


Eena , Meena & Tina ("I can BUY love")


Meena &Tina ("I have enough girl friends")


Tina ("I am loyal to her")


"Huh! There is no pure love on earth!"


d) Mobile Maintenance


Frequent outgoing calls ("This is what mobile is invented for")


Restricted outgoing calls ("I should not create unnecessary traffic on mobile lines")


Rare outgoing calls (" Mobile should be used in urgent situations only")


Only incoming calls ("I am not going to call her until she calls me")


e) Boozing


"Come, let's go to Goa and freak out!


"Man, there is nothing in Goa . Let's go to Mysore .."


"The best place to booze on earth is our house itself. What say?"


"Drinking is injurious to health."




MONTHLY MILESTONES of a Single Girl

join ghoomar group


Heading


First Week


Second Week


Third Week


Fourth Week


a) Bank Balance


20000


20000


20000


20000


b) Conveyance


Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it")


Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it")


Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it")


Auto ("after all my boy friend pays f or it")


c) Boy Friends


Abhinav , saleem, Peter


Sachin, sumeet, vinay


Abhijeet, Ram, christopher. ..


Arun , Saket, vimal..


d) Mobile Maintenance


Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)


Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)


Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)


Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)


e) Boozing


"Come, let's go to Goa


"Come, let's go to Kulu


"Come, let's go to Shimla


"Come, let's go to darj ee ling

 



--
Warm Regards,
Debasish Bhanj
+91 98856 95456


Sunday, March 13, 2011

UID Card......Future Life..........!!! Nandan Nilekani's dream - how the national ID card will ವರ್ಕ್....!!!

Future Life..........!!! Nandan Nilekani's dream - how the national ID card will work....!!!


Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's he..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... You're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jal Vayu.....Your home number is 2x26xxxx, your office 250xxxxx and your mobile is 09xxxxxxxx. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The total is Rs 500.00"

Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your Nano Car..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Nano car,...registration number GZ-05-AB-1107.."

Customer: " ?"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... By the way... Aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]